What to Do After Divorce Papers Are Served
Read the papers carefully and note the deadline to respond, which is often 20 to 30 days depending on the state. File a response or answer before the deadline, or your spouse may get a default judgment. Follow any automatic restraining orders on finances, gather financial records, keep communications civil, and talk to a family lawyer before agreeing to anything.
Being served with divorce papers starts a clock. The steps you take in the next few weeks can affect the outcome.
1. Find the deadline
The summons tells you how long you have to file a response, often 20 to 30 days depending on the state. Missing it can lead to a default judgment, where the court decides based only on your spouse's requests (Cornell LII).
2. Read everything
Look for:
- What your spouse is asking for: property, support, custody
- Any automatic restraining orders, which in many states bar both spouses from selling or hiding assets, changing insurance beneficiaries, or taking children out of state
- Hearing dates for temporary orders
3. File a response
Your response (answer) admits or denies the allegations and states what you want (Cornell LII). You may also file your own requests (a counterpetition). Many courts provide forms.
4. Protect your finances
- Gather tax returns, pay stubs, bank and retirement statements, and debt records.
- Make copies before records become hard to access.
- Do not empty accounts or run up debt; courts can penalize that.
- Keep paying regular bills.
Use our divorce documents checklist.
5. Think about the children first
- Keep routines stable.
- Do not discuss the case with the children or criticize the other parent.
- Do not move the children without agreement or a court order.
6. Be careful with communication
Keep messages short and civil; texts and social media posts can become evidence. If there is abuse, ask about a protective order; see restraining orders.
7. Consider your options
- Agreement: if you mostly agree, the case may become uncontested; see uncontested divorce.
- Mediation: often faster and cheaper.
- Litigation: necessary when there is serious disagreement or hidden assets.
8. Talk to a lawyer
Even if you plan to settle, a consultation with a family lawyer helps you understand your rights before signing anything. See also how divorce works.
Sources
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This article is general legal information, not legal advice, and reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws differ by state and change over time; talk to a licensed attorney in your state about your situation.